The man on the eighth floor of the Soho Beach House stood with his back to the ocean and talked about the Chilean olive oils set out on the table in front of him. With exquisite timing I arrived just as he was finishing his talk and offering samples. After tasting two, I walked over to the bar to grab an olive oil martini, running into Eleanor, "The Wok Star," who introduced me to a woman who hosts underground dinners.
We were led next door to a narrow room down which stretched a candlelit table with about 20 chairs on either side. When I say "we" I mean approximately 36 women and four men, two of whom sat next to me. Actually, the one to my left kept a chair between us, which was soon occupied by a well-known TV news anchor who told me she lived in Surfside.
"Isaac Bashevis Singer's old hometown," I said. She had no idea who I was talking about.
The appetizer arrived: Mixed Ceviche of Tuna, Scampi, Fluke, Uni. Avocado Olive Oil Panna Cotta, and Gazpacho Sopa - all of it contained in what looked like a bento box. This was followed, a little late, by the "Amuse," which was a Hudson Valley Foie Gras Potage with Duck Confit Pastrami and Fig Tapenade.
The creator of the menu, Todd English, appeared to address the gathering. He looked unchanged from when I interviewed him a few years ago, except for the fact that he wasn't texting after each comment.
The man to my right was an architect who had grown up in Paris. We agreed that American diners exceed the French in at least one aspect: loudness.
The main course arrived: Olive Oil Poached Chateaubriand Veal "Oscar" with Lobster Schnitzel. If the veal had had the thinness of the schnitzel, and the lobster had had the thickness of the veal, the dish would have been outstanding.
Dessert was Olive Oil Tres Leche Cake.
At this point the smartphones that had glowed intermittently throughout the meal were brought out in force, as diners wearied of the task of actual conversation. This brought the noise level down considerably.
In the elevator a tall woman said to me: "We've met. We test drove exotic cars a few years ago." There is now a woman in Miami with whom I have exotic cars and olive oil in common.
Downstairs the man at reception asked us how the dinner was.
"Good," the woman said, then quickly added: "Oily."
