Strange experience last night switching back and forth between the Olympics (men's figure skating) and the Westminster Dog Show. Skaters and canines both strutting their stuff, looking their feathery and furry best.
Skating has suffered a loss in popularity over the last few Olympics because of a lack of star power (no such problem for the dog show), and last night I came up with a solution.
After all the programs have been completed, the skaters should all be brought back onto the ice to stand with their trainers. A judge, selected by the others, would then walk - slipping and sliding - from one to the other, sizing them up, adjusting their posture, checking their teeth. He would ask them all in turn to do another lap on the ice, perhaps requesting a second double axel. Then he would go to a table and write down the name of the winner - imagine the suspense - before announcing it to the crowd. The victorious trainer would then be interviewed while the newly-crowned skater, standing oblivious by her side, begged for a treat.
