not here

08/13/09 09:19

This month marks the 20th anniversary of our move to Florida. I have now lived here longer than anywhere else, including my home state of New Jersey.

When people ask me where I'm from I usually say "Florida," for the sake of simplicity. But I don't feel Floridian. After two decades, this doesn't feel like home to me. I don't know if it's the newness of the place, or my unlikeliness in it, but whenever I go north - and walk city streets with people in long pants - I feel that I have returned to real life.

This 20th summer is the first one in which I have started to really miss the north: the prospect of fall, the crispness, the ritual return from languor. Florida was OK when I had a job, but now writing at home I want to break up the monotony by browsing in a used bookstore, or eavesdropping on students in a dimly-lit bar, or just walking past some red brick houses and hearing someone playing the piano.

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