Shouldn't his name by Punxsutawney Paul?
The president can't start a war with the government shut down.
Hearing that a publication that always rejected you has folded.
The cover story in the New York Times Magazine on Sunday was on the city's subway system, and the photo captions included:
"An M.T.A. worker cutting through a piece of steel as new track is fitted on the 1 line in Manhattan."
"A J train leaving the Chambers Street station in Manhattan."
"A rat hauling a Moon Pie into the shadows at 125th Street."
The worst thing about the cold in Florida is that, knowing what's going on up north, we can't complain about it.